Dog Day Afternoon

     The other day as I got on a flight to Florida I noticed a large white poodle sitting with a passenger. It was a beautiful animal lying there as well behave as one would expect. I briskly walked by and took my seat. I assumed it was a "service dog of sorts" and gave it no further thought. When I exited the plane, there was this attractive woman with a Great Dane the size of a small pony ready to board another flight.  As one would expect, the dog gathered  (I would have thought the woman would have been enough) a lot of attention. Of course, no one was allowed to touch or pet the animal or even inquire the affliction this woman had that permitted the dog's presence. My first thought was: is there anything wrong with this woman that a Cocker Spaniel could not remedy? I shortly put the dog, the woman was a little harder, out of my mind.  Then I began noticing these service animals popping up everywhere. No guide dogs mind you. No old fashion Rin Tin Tin helping the true handicap. Just a menagerie of dog breeds and their owners.
     As fate would have it, shortly afterward I would have a close encounter of the third kind. I was playing poker in AC and a man sat next to me with a dog. Now I am not sure what smelled worst the dog or the guy? I inquire politely about the anomaly. The man told me it was a service dog, and he had anger issues. "Blinky" calm him down when he played and if it wasn't for him, he might be busting someone's head. I told him I would take my chances if he wanted to give his dog a little time off. Well, all hell broke loose. Apparently, "Blinkly" didn't have quite the calming effect as advertised. After the smoked cleared, no heads were busted; however, despite my protest for the guy to produce some documentation on him or Blinkly, it was I who had to find another table. Now, this brings this blog to the point where I should have started it.
     I love dogs. I owned many. My friend has a dog. When I go over his house, Charlie will jump on my lap and I find myself confessing my sins to him. It is very comforting, but I would not think of taking him to a cocktail party.
     The service dog industry has largely become a scam. It's fertile ground, as my friend Sal Diaz points out: "for every neurotic, obsessed dog owner to get Fido public access where oftentimes minors are not allowed."
     Of course, there are legitimate reasons to have a service dog and legitimate schools where they are trained. Also, I am discounting legitimate guide (service) dogs which we are familiar with that have a long history of helping the blind and others with visible and pronounced disabilities. But just do a google search and you will find dozens of companies guaranteeing certification for you and your dog. And if you don't have a dog, there are just as many pseudo schools "training" these dogs in some sort of "therapy." Amazon will sell you vest, leashes, collars, and dog tags indicating your dog is some kind of service, seizure alert, emotional support animal and even a very scary legal-looking card stating you are ready to sue anyone who denies Fidio access to your facility.
     And it does not stop at dogs. ESA of American will gladly certify your pet rat, your iguana, and your small pony as an ESA. ( emotional support animal) .
      There are specific laws concerning ESA owners policed by the FHA and ACAA but how well they are enforced is dubious. Once again my friend Sal Diaz pointed out: "These scam artists are riding the current wave of political correctness. Most people are afraid to call them out."
     Here is a list of just some reasons Emotional Support animals could be justified:

          Anxiety Depression Bipolar disorder
          Mood Disorder
          Any Phobias
          Suicidal Tendency
          TS
          Intrusive Thoughts
          PTSD
          Separation Anxiety
          Eating Disorders
          Obsessive/ Compulsive  Disorder
          Neurocognitive
          Personality Disorder
          Sexual Gender Identity Crisis
          Sleep Disorders
          Impotence
          Anger
      I don't know anyone who doesn't suffer from at least one of these afflictions or even who compile the list? Like Charleston Heston scream in the first Planet of the Apes: "It's a madhouse!"
     And emotional support animals ARE NOT required to be trained to perform any specific task!
     Please keep in mind, I am not talking about ADA service animals that are individually trained to do work for people with disabilities and the legitimate restrictions under law as to what questions can be asked about such animals. Emotional support animals and their patients /owners do not qualify as service animals; thus, are not afforded the same rights.
     Then there is the issue of common sense and common courtesy even when all the requirements are met. You paid good money for a ticket at a concert and you have Cynophobia. The guy next to has Agoraphobia, but his ESA gives enough support to him to allow him or her to attend. Who should have the right away here?   What if I was allergic to dogs or I just don't like the odor of Blinky? Why did I have to move and not Blinky and Rambo? Then there are children at both ends of the spectrum. The ones that want to reach out and pet the animal but now are restricted, adding additional policing by the parents and those petrified by have been bitten. I think those issues need to be addressed. As for now, however, we have to deal with the widespread fraud of industry and vague regulations.
     If you suspect fraud, don't be afraid to call them out, especially if the animal is disruptive in any way.
    You can ask an owner to remove the dog on the basis of "direct threat " or "fundamental alteration".
    As far as Blinkly and Rambo, I am taking Charlie with me the next time. Both of us are up there in age, but we will get the job done.